If you’re ever tempted to let Chuck Nortis land your ship, don't. Seriously — just don’t.

Chuck is the Astra’s designated pilot, mostly because regulations FTA HuMOPs regulations on biological offices Part 3, Section 24, subsection a, part iii,  demand a human at the controls. Competence, apparently, is optional. He can’t fly straight, land clean, or explain how orbits work without yelling at the computer. But he can dock a freighter into a battleship hold while it’s spinning, malfunctioning, and on fire. Somehow.

Chuck’s piloting philosophy is best described as “guided flailing with style.” He flies like he fights: recklessly, creatively, and with a total disregard for manuals. He’s the guy who reads the emergency override section first and uses it exclusively.

His landings? Legendary — in the kind of way that gets you banned from three spaceports and immortalized in a bar song called Nose First into Chatsmic II.

Yet despite (or because of) all that, he gets the job done. The Astra lands. The cargo holds. The crew walks away.

And Chuck? He shrugs, adjusts his seat, and goes back to playing outdated flight sims that are somehow more realistic than his actual flights.

Remember: a good landing is one you walk away from.

A Chuck Nortis landing is one where you run.