So, you’ve decided to read Clueless. That’s… brave.
But don’t worry. Before we dive headfirst into interstellar diplomacy, rogue AIs, sentient bombs, and cat empires with questionable manners, let’s catch you up on just how badly things have already gone.
Trunk Line – Where It All Started Going Wrong
Captain Tim Symbles never meant to crash into a backwater planet named Chatsmic. He especially didn’t mean to get arrested for landing without clearance, or to drag his crew into a black-ops archaeological expedition involving ancient alien tech, interstellar conspiracies, and a deeply suspicious pyramid.
And yet, that’s exactly what happened. Oops.
Add a missing Jump spike, a “totally out of control” flight control message, and several failed attempts at reverse-engineering ancient tech, and you get a freighter that’s barely held together and a crew that’s more punchline than rescue team.
Fetch! – It Gets Worse
Post-pyramid disaster, you'd think Tim and co. would take a vacation. They did.
To Earth.
Which, of course, led to crime families, secrets better left buried, and a new mystery so dangerous that everyone wanted the Astra not to go. So obviously, they went.
They met the Kind (sentient dogs), the Empire (sentient cats), and the Bombs (sentient… bombs). That last one was exactly what it sounds like.
Tim managed to do what humans do best: get mistaken for a diplomat. So now, he’s off to an actual summit of galactic powers, with the fate of humanity at stake, a ship full of contraband, and no clue what he's doing.
Clueless – An Interstellar Apology Letter
And thus, we arrive at Clueless. If Trunk Line was a mistake and Fetch was a cover-up, Clueless is an apology letter to the universe. Kind of. It's also a diplomatic disaster in slow motion. Good thing Tim’s only job is not to start a war.
He probably won’t.
…Probably.